Being a parent has to be one of the most exhausting and rewarding experiences of a person’s life. From giving birth, to raising your kids, this journey is filled with tears and joy, occasionally both at the same time. For many people having kids gives their life a meaning, they just can’t imagine their life without them. After all, human existence is built upon reproduction.
But a family is so much more than that. A family is a best, it’s something that fulfills us emotionally, and somewhere you can strip away from all the stress and insecurities. Kids are usually what makes couples a family.
Many will say that kids are the best thing that ever happened to them and that they give their life meaning. But some never want to have kids and other things fulfill them. To put it into perspective, here are the best and worst things about being a parent.
That sense of purpose
Kids do really give you purpose. When you are raising someone your life will dramatically change. You live for two souls from now on. You will want to offer them the best life you can and you’ll want them to be the best versions of themselves, and that will give you a sense of purpose.
Having an excuse to do kids stuff
Adults are just oversized kids, right? We still like to watch animated movies sometimes. We also like to play with legos and barbies. There is a part in us that never really gets old.
When you have kids that part of you somehow resurrects. Only now you have an excuse to play with kids toys and obsess over Disney movies.
Understanding your parents
One of the most important things that people say when they become parents is how they understand their parents more. Our parents used to say that but we really didn’t listen to them. Or we just didn’t get it.
Seeing your kids achievements
One of the most rewarding experiences in life has to be seeing your kids succeed. Someone you gave life to and dedicated yours to them has done something to make you proud. Being that a graduation, an award, their first job, or something else, seeing your kids achievements is really one of the best things in life.
You’ve created a legacy
Natural, human instincts are what pushes us forward to creating a family and having kids. You give birth to someone who looks like you, has your features and gestures and will live with you for at least 18 years. You’ve basically created a mini you, and the joy that brings to parents is infinite.
You discover things about yourself you didn’t know before
Being a parent will change you. Sometimes it will bring out the best in you and sometimes the worst. You will really understand how you can survive with only two and a half hours of sleep a day. You will also understand how it feels to love someone more than anything and anyone in the world. You will discover many sides of you that will surprise you for the best and for the worst.
Despite the joy and pride that comes with having kids, there are some downsides as well. Here are some of them:
When you’re a mother, especially a working mother, you always feel guilty. Be that going to work, or just going out for a coffee or drinks, there will always be a part of you that will wish you had stayed home with the kids. You also will opt out of buying something expensive for yourself and save your money for the kids.
You also might feel, especially in the beginning, that you are doing everything wrong and that you are not a good mother. But that is a normal feeling and it will pass.
No free (me) time
Sometimes you won’t even be able to feel guilty, because you just don’t have the time. You don’t have the time to do most of the things you used to do before, and maybe you will have to sacrifice a hobby, girls/boys night out. The mornings will be hectic once they start school. And the evenings will be noisy. This is even worse when you’re a working parent, so feel free to call off work when you need too.
Having said everything, no downside really compares to being responsible for someone else’s life. Having to raise them right, not knowing if they will go the right path, if you’ll be able to pay for their college, if they will even want to go to college, etc.
Just like anything else in life, being a parent has its ups and downs. The sleepless nights, the worrying, the guilt, etc. are all things that no one wants to deal with voluntarily but the good outweighs the bad. Being a parent makes you more responsible, more selfless and ultimately a better person.
Ujëbardha Bekolli, MotherWorks
Ujëbardha Bekolli is a writer for MotherWorks. MotherWorks is a job portal designed to bring together stay at home moms and recruiters. The platform also brings helpful articles in the Blog section regarding mothers who want to return to the workforce.