Today’s Woman – Have we changed much?

** Writings from a currently frustrated woman, mother and wife.  This is written in 3rd person, but it is actually what I am experiencing right now in my own homelife.  I realize that not all women feel these emotions and a lot of women can juggle home life and work life just fine.  Remember, I am a woman with depression, and some of my writing will reflect that.  This is how I handle situations which seem to be overwhelming at times.  I will look at this in a few days and laugh at how overly sensitive I was being at the time.  **

Being a woman in today’s world can sometimes be difficult.  In the beginning of time, the woman has been the soul caregiver and nurturer for our children and for our husbands.  The man was seen as the hunter/gatherer and as the protector of the family.  While he took care of the family financially, the women took care of the household chores, and had the responsibility of rearing the children.  A woman’s job has never been easy, but it was accepted as the norm until the Women’s Movement in the 1900’s.  When being “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” wasn’t enough anymore, we fought for women’s rights and after 100 years, we finally won.  Along with being a wife, mother and housewife, we are now employed women, registered voters, educators and professionals, volunteers, and advocates for others.

We have created a stressful environment for ourselves because of the advances which we wanted.  We now run around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to juggle the work environment with our home environment.  We come home and we are tired, but we smile and continue to trudge on because supper has to be made, dishes have to be done, the kids need to do their homework and take their baths, and be in bed by a certain time before the little angels turn into grumpy monsters.  We run interference when they are arguing and we tend to their hearts when they are broken.  Our job as mother and caretaker never ends and we enjoy every single minute of it.

So why are we so frustrated at the end of the day, and just want to be left alone? Maybe it’s because we have taken on too much and we don’t know how to delegate.  Maybe it’s because we feel as if we have let ourselves go and we don’t feel attractive anymore.  Maybe it’s because we are these emotional beings who need to have some sort of outlet for our frustrations.  We have this knack for needing to talk about anything and everything.  We cry at the drop of a hat, and we can sometimes make mountains out of molehills.  We drive our husbands crazy because what doesn’t affect him at all, makes us angry that he just doesn’t get it.  We wanted these responsibilities though, so why are we complaining?

We complain because at some point, we needs to de-stress and have some time to ourselves. A time where there is no noise and no chaos.  A time when our husbands take over and lets us reflect the day and go to the bathroom without the kids invading our privacy.  A relaxing bath would be amazing if it actually happened.  But somehow, in some fashion, the kids have honed in on the fact that the we are in the bathroom or on the phone (we aren’t doing anything of importance. We are not making dinner or we aren’t doing the dishes, so apparently it’s ok to bug us during this time) and the chaos starts all over again. We are aggravated, because the man is sitting in his recliner asleep and oblivious to the catastrophe which is about to happen when little Johnny bites Suzy and then denies ever doing it.  Our husbands gets irritated because now his nap has been disturbed and he has to take care of the children who are quickly turning into mutants because no one is giving them the attention that they need or want. Once again, we are the ones who take over and calm things down.  We are the ones who comfort Suzy and discuss with little Johnny his inappropriate behaviors, and we are the ones who finally get them calm enough to go to bed.

What is left?  By the time the chaos has ceased and it is quiet in the house, we are entirely too drained to do anything else.  We just want to crawl in bed and get a good night’s sleep because we know that tomorrow will be exactly the same thing. Oh, tomorrow we have to make phone calls because for some ungodly reason, we’ve accepted a volunteer position at the school and are now coordinator of a sporting event.  Good Grief.

As I turn to my husband and kiss him goodnight, he gives me this lingering kiss and looks at me with a smirk on his face.  His way of showing support and showing how much he loves me, is to be intimate as a man and wife should be.  He has trouble communicating in words how he feels, so he believes that this is the best way to prove to me how much he loves me.  I should be honored and happy that this is what he wants to do.  I should feel loved and cherished and show him how much I love and adore him as well.  I can only groan and stare at him with disbelief.  Go to sleep dear man.  Tomorrow is another day.

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